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Joke of the Day

"I've been going through a really rough period at work this week It's my own fault for swapping my tampax for sand paper."

"You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? Hahahaa WHY!!??"

"I just got accused of ""plagiarism"" Their words not mine!"

"I pulled my wife's panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer."

"[at subway] And just a little lettuce. *the guy starts backing a truck full of lettuce toward my sandwich & the truck is beeping* No wait."

"I will always remember the last thing my Grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said- ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket""?"

"Was looking at smoking pipes on Amazon & realized that CW could look at my history.So,I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats."

"Today, a man looked me right in the face & said ""You're not hot!"" Actually it was a cop &he said ""Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."""

"Animals are better than people because they can't talk"

"You know what they say about people with big feet. They have big shoes"