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Joke of the Day

"99% of the world can't count. I'm just glad I'm part of the other 4%."

"Why can't Santa play in the NBA? He has a no-trade Claus"

"What did Steven hawking say when he first got his wheelchair? I can't stand being in this"

"How do you call a cross-dressing father of two? Transparent"

"Growing up on Disney movies has left me so disillusioned about small woodland creatures and their willingness to help me with my chores."

"I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn't care..... Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0"

"If by ""flexible"" you mean ""can I get my foot behind my head?"" then yes, I am. If you mean ""can I get my foot back down?"" then no, I am not."

"You wanna do stuff with toys in bed? Let's do it; I've already got like 3 hot wheels cars and a Barbie in there right now, so...."

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer? Ash"

"How to cool the craze for transgender surgery Install an irregular period with each new vagina and an enlarged prostate with each new penis"