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Joke of the Day
"What do snakes use to build clocks? Metal Gears"
Next Joke
"What do 50 cent hot dogs have in common with lumber? Two buy four."
"""Will you marry me?"" ""The cookie was poison"" ""The lotto numbers will never win"" Examples of why I got fired from writing fortune cookies"
"Why was the man sent to prison after staying up all night? Because he was resisting a rest."
"I was wrestling with an Anaconda for 3 days... And then I realised I was masturbating"
"Picketing Prostitutes What did the picketing prostitutes chant? ""Hell no, we won't blow!"""
"How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it will take him 50 tries to do it."
"Cat burglar: Quietly steals all your valuables Dog burglar: Eats your ham, sleeps in bed with you for awhile, wakes you up to go out at 3am"
"[red carpet] ""So Ryan, who are u with tonight?"" Ryan Gosling [proudly] ""My parents"" [two geese in black tie nervously shuffle to his side]"
"Dentist: ""When was the last time you flossed?"" Me: ""BRO, you were there."""