22562

Joke of the Day

"The average person swallows over 4,000 spiders each year. More than that. Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands of spiders. It's crazy."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One or two? One.... or two?"

"At the teraphist: ""Sometimes i just can't focus at work!"" Patient: ""that's fine, but we are here to talk about my problems."""

"What concert costs 45 cents? A concert that costs 45 cents."

"[seaworld] ""Hey what happened to the new guy?"" -He tried to have sex with the dolphin in tank 6 ""But there's a shark in tan.."" -BINGO!"

"I just realized that I get most of my news from Twitter. So... someone remind me what Pres Bieber's health care bill will do to your mom?"

"What do you call a nosy pepper? jalapeno business!"

"A super moon is just like a regular moon except Lois Lane doesn't recognize it when it's wearing horn rimmed glasses"

"Kids, make sure you learn how to use a protractor in case one day you're a teacher & have to show kids how to use a protractor."

"What do a chick and KFC have in common? Once you're done enjoying the legs, thighs and breasts your left with a greasy box to stick your bone in."