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Joke of the Day

"u have been sentenced to 99 years in a maximum security prison for taking bites out of a string cheese instead of havin fun and peeling it"

"Why do terrorist use Nokia phones? so they can reuse the phone after the explosion"

"How do you ruin a date with Princess Leia? By saying Alderaan things."

"Me: *Reaches over, cuts up food, says ""open wide"" & starts making airplane noises* Guy: *stunned silence* -Single Mama on a date"

"Attidude Redefined for love: I can always take care of my self... But still, i want the person who can prove to me that i can't..."

"Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk? Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)"

"God *twisting an owl*: I can't get this damn jar open."

"9 out of 10 dentists agree that Gary is the most handsome dentist. Gary voted for Brett because he couldn't vote for himself"

"What did the man say when he walked into a bar? ""Ouch!"""

"I've been thinking about Oscar Pistorious's case... I don't think he's got a leg to stand on."