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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants the bartender asks ""doesn't that thing annoy you?"" The pirate says ""arr, it's driving me nuts"""

Next Joke
 
"A muslim, a communist, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says hello Mr. President."
"I got jury duty next week My duty is to convince the jury that I didn't do it."
"Kristen gave Sally 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Todd gave Sally 5 flowers and 3 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? Cancer."
"Why don't you ever hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent."
"I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall. I thought of having them. Nails always come in handy."
"If I end up on life support, feel free to pull the plug.. However, if I'm charging my phone, stay the hell away from the outlet."
"I like my women like I like my eggs. Beaten."
"Have you heard about the joke about immortality... ...It never gets old."
"i wish everything was made out of pizza i'd be like hey bro sorry I ate your pizza car and pizza house and pizza wife."