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Joke of the Day

"No one really cares, but I love it when people give me rats to have sex with. Who gives a rat's ass?"

"Have you heard the one about the butter? Nah, you'll just spread it around."

"Have you heard of the italian chef that died? He pasta away!"

"Would you rather have parkinsons or alzheimers? Personally I'd rather have parkinsons, cos I'd rather have half a pint than forget where I've put it!"

"I used to steal funny jokes I still do, but I used to, too."

"Why does a flamingo stand on one leg? If it didn't stand on any, it would fall over."

"How many chains does it take to enslave a black person in the twenty-first century? Two Chainz."

"Knock knock Who's there? Shi Huang Di Shi Huang Di Who? She wan DEEEEEZ NUTS! Yay for history jokes."

"What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table? Gilles de la gourmette"

"Bestiality is disgusting and wrong. Having said that, I did once come on a mouse."