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Joke of the Day

"Why does a flamingo stand on one leg? If it didn't stand on any, it would fall over."

"Why do hamburgers and hot dogs fuck their cousins? Because they're inbred!"

"When I was born, I was given a choice a big pecker or a good memory.... I don't remember what I chose"

"""How old is your girlfriend?"" ""She's52"" ""Haha, dude, she could be your mom!"" ""Yeah, actually it's yours"""

"I wish I would have listened to my grandma when she told me one day I'd regret not focusing harder on my hitman career."

"Before you get all smug about ""science"" ask yourself why no microwave can penetrate the heart of a lasagna."

"I once went out with a girl that said she was flexible like a Slinky. Two flights of stairs later, I decided she wasn't."

"Whats an Australian Kiss? (nsfw-ish) It's like a French kiss, but down under."

"Why couldn't the quadrilateral comb out her daughters hair? Because it was a wrecked tangle"

"What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud? Conversation?"