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Joke of the Day

"As an ass assessor, I assess asses."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming."

"Imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left 10 mins into it. Dick move, right? My point is old people shouldn't get to vote"

"alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, ""why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"""

"Why was the lions stomach enormous? Because he finally swallowed his pride"

"A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub."

"Have you heard of the man from DeMizes? His balls were of two different sizes. One ball was so small, there was no ball at all. The other so large it won prizes."

"Getting friends with benefits is easy If you hang around the welfare centre long enough you're sure to meet a few nice people."

"What's the difference between French women and an NHL hocky team? The hockey team showers after 3 periods."

"Anal is like brushing your teeth. If you see blood your not doing it enough."