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Joke of the Day

"Imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left 10 mins into it. Dick move, right? My point is old people shouldn't get to vote"

"Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated aarrrh."

"My teeth are so white I could use them to help land a plane and still no boyfriend. I'm beginning to think TV ads lie."

"There's a couple flies in my room... I'm trying to sleep and they're bugging me."

"What do you get when you boil tree trunks with sugar? Log jam."

"I've spent half my money on gambling, alcohol, and wild women. The other half I wasted."

"Kinda cool how they based an entire country off of Mexican food."

"Were you born on Highway 22? Because I heard alot of accidents happened there."

"Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate? Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)"

"My wife got in the shower with me this morning. She said ""Mmm baby I want you to do bad things to me"". So I put shampoo in her eyes."