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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming."
Next Joke
"What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion? An Accordion. ...I'll, uh, see myself out."
"Wait, 12 years a slave isn't about marriage?"
"Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel."
"I walk around with mentos in my ears so everyone thinks I have an iphone 7."
"What's the difference between a circus and a strip club? One has cunning stunts the other has stunning..."
"Doctor: Your baby is 7 pounds! Me: So that's like, what, three dollars?"
"What car does a Mexican drive? A Quebrolet."
"Kids: Your homework is being graded by someone who's buzzed."
"My wife thinks my obsession with conspiracy theories is getting out of control. I wonder how much money the government paid her to say that?"