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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard of the man from DeMizes? His balls were of two different sizes. One ball was so small, there was no ball at all. The other so large it won prizes."

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"What's six inches and not getting sucked today Whitney Houston's crackpipe"
"Why can't a blonde count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful."
"TDIL: Why Arizona gets so hot. Because they don't observe daylight saving time the heat of the day is compressed into fewer hours."
"The Commandments 1) def don't kill 2) no stealing, obvs 3) don't say my name? idk 4) luv ur neighbs! 5) but don't LOVE-love them, that's bad"
"I know my limits. I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them."
"Why is the space between a woman's chest and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there."
"centipede: *trips* *but for like, an hour*"
"Why did Hitler really commit suicide? He got the gas bill"
"How long is a china-man? Excuse the question mark, ""How Long"" is in fact a china man."