224558

Joke of the Day

"Her: I just don't like you, no one does Me: What, why? is it my hair? Her: no Me: MY LOOKS!? Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god"

"Why did the hobbit go vegan? Because MEAT IS MORDOR!"

"Best love poem Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm bad at poetry, date me"

"Shortest joke ever? ""Pretentious? Moi?"""

"My three year old just looked up at me and clear as day said, ""I'm sick of this shit."" And all I could do was nod because he is so right."

"A guy named Lur tells his friend about a business idea... ""I have a brilliant idea! I am going to make and sell my own line of cars!"" To which his friend replied ""Christ, Lur!"""

"The only way to protect ourselves from eagle attacks is of course MORE eagles. Fill our homes with these gentle, knife clawed birds of prey."

"When Catwoman gets older, does she become Cougarwoman?"

"When Trump build a wall what would the US become? Attack on Titans..."

"Where does the zombie president live? In the wight house."