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Joke of the Day

"My three year old just looked up at me and clear as day said, ""I'm sick of this shit."" And all I could do was nod because he is so right."

"[Arguing with a guy over who's tougher] *takes toothpick from mouth* ""When I started chewing this it was a full grown spruce."""

"What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ? Infantry !"

"What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument? Good point"

"What did one Viking war paint say to the other? Poly, you're a Thane."

"*professes my undying love to my microwave* *microwave sets itself on fire*"

"Why are cats against abortion? Because they're CATholic"

"How many ears does Spock have? Three: a left ear, a right ear, and the last front ear."

"Redditors of Mississippi. Tell me how do you feel abou- Oh wait, you can't read."

"Why stop with two L's Lloyd? why?"