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Joke of the Day
"Why did the hobbit go vegan? Because MEAT IS MORDOR!"
Next Joke
"People complain when my baby is crying and then they complain when I stuff her in the overhead bin, MAKE UP YOUR GD MINDS"
"I have a car! I had a car, Untill i woke up"
"That's it. I'm quitting cold turkey. But damn Thanksgiving leftovers are so good. I need my fixin's."
"I keep making jokes about my dads new Thai bride. He's getting pretty sick of them. My dads getting sick of them too."
"Son: Dad how do stars die? Dad: Drugs, Usually"
"You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching."
"Over the past year my sexual perversions have been getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom."
"Anyone who uses the phrase ""easy as taking candy from a baby"" has never tried taking candy from a baby."
"What is large, grey and sings great jazz songs? Elephants Gerald"