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Joke of the Day

"The only way to protect ourselves from eagle attacks is of course MORE eagles. Fill our homes with these gentle, knife clawed birds of prey."

"I overheard a midget complaining to a police officer that his pocket had been picked. The officer said 'I can't believe anyone would stoop that low'"

"A soft drink is just a drink that needs a minute. Just give it a minute, this has never happened to it before."

"Boss: ""Thanks for making me my coffee. You know what'd go well with this?"" Me: ""The antidote?"" Boss: ""No, a nice..Wait, what?"" Me: ""Nothing"""

"So my girlfriend caught me cheating Dunno what pisses her off more, that I cheated, or that I destroyed her daughters grave."

"What did the CPU say to the RAM? Sorry to cache you out but I want the data closer. The RAM replied: you're right, ""life"" is too short."

"Al Gore's so boring his secret service name is Al Gore"

"Two dogs are going on a walk down the street They walk past a few parking meters and one dog says to the other, ""Hey, check it out! Pay toilets!"""

"What is an archaeologist ? Someone who's career is in ruins !"

"What has four legs and goes ""Oom! Oom!""? A cow walking backwards!"