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Joke of the Day

"When Catwoman gets older, does she become Cougarwoman?"

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"Tequila everyday keeps sobriety away"
"Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon"
"Live today like it's your last. But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't."
"Why don't seagulls ever fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bagels."
"WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear."
"So my girlfriend throws up in the morning also her stomach is getting bigger. It's time I get it through my head.....She drinks to much.."
"How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? **One.** **Germans are very efficient and not very funny.** *Source: My co-worker.* *I'm German and I approve this message.*"
"Every summer I go to Grammar Camp we discuss creative ideas and pitch our new tense."
"I have sex daily. I mean dyslexia!"