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Joke of the Day

"I exercise at the gym because I can't exercise restraint when it comes to everything that's bad for me."

"My friends hate my cheese jokes. They said that they're no Gouda"

"Don't hear many Limerick jokes any more. So I wrote one. There was a man named Johnathan Hicks, who liked to write limericks. But his Poems were crude, and many lewd, so his balls were often kicked."

"I lost my phone and it's on silent. Man! I should've listened to Beyonce."

"Go ahead, criticize my overprotective parenting. But no gorillas were shot on my watch."

"Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball."

"Have you been to /r/brucejennerspenis? I heard it was removed."

"Yea, autocorrect, I meant ""nymph"" instead of ""my phone"" because I am a 16th Century poet."

"Why are men so smart while having sex? Because they are plugged into a fucking know-it-all."

"twitter getting rid of the 140-character limit is a bad idea. the ability to say what you need to say in as few words as possible is (1/533)"