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Joke of the Day

"Why are men so smart while having sex? Because they are plugged into a fucking know-it-all."

"George Michael is recording a song to help promote the end of sectarian violence in the Middle East. It's called ""I Want Your Sects."""

"Hooked up with a Medium at a bar last night I think phony was a fake because she didn't see me coming."

"What is a gathering of octopus called? Octoposse"

"George Washington: We should put 'We trust in God' on our money Thomas Jefferson: Great idea. Did you get that? Yoda (taking notes): Yep"

"I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. Although the doctor says I am okay, I still feel like I dyed a little inside."

"What does a terrorist and a soccer player have in common? Mossack Fonseca."

"The current state of the Canadian economy. This is /r/jokes right?"

"What tastes great on pie but bad on pussy? Crust"

"I get accused of hating white people many times on here. That's not true, some of my favorite shirts are white."