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Joke of the Day

"I lost my phone and it's on silent. Man! I should've listened to Beyonce."

"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar!"

"i ate my weight in goldfish crackers. i'm hoping to poop a shark."

"New theory: It's Raining Men and Let The Bodies Hit The Floor are both accounts of the same event but from wildly different perspectives."

"What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors? reptile disfunction"

"Yay it's payday! *pays bills That was short lived."

"Irony. The opposite of wrinkly."

"Eating With The Shakes If a person with Parkinson's is eating a brownie, Is it ""Brownie in motion""?"

"Not proof-reading ruins lives A husband wrote the following to his wife: ""I'm having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."""

"Records have revealed that Hitler had a ""deformed micropenis""... A little ironic, since he's universally remembered for being a huge dick."