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Joke of the Day

"""Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."""

"So my neighbor knocked on my door at 3AM... Who knocks on doors at three in the morning? It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes."

"I'm boycotting 50 Shades of Grey because it perpetuates the stereotype that men can change."

"What do you call a nomadic neanderthal? A meanderthal."

"Something went wrong .. ha ha A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"Welcome to Gullible Victim Club. Lol. I can't believe you showed up. Now gimme your purse or I'll stab you."

"What do a chop shop and a desperate actress have in common? They both strip for parts!"

"Why did the farmer get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"We were driving past the graveyard and my dad asks: ""Do you know why I can't be buried there?"" ""Why not?"" ""Because I'm not dead yet, Son."""

"I found out it was snowing by looking outside. WTF Twitter? You are suppossed to tell me these things first."