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Joke of the Day

"What do a chop shop and a desperate actress have in common? They both strip for parts!"

"Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file!"

"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."

"If you're only18, please don't tweet philosophy and proverb verbiage based on your first love and the difficulty of your inexperienced life."

"My dad wanted me to play soccer So I kicked him in the crotch. He asked, ""Why did you do that?"" I replied,""That's what you're supposed to do in soccer, right? Kick balls?"""

"I don't know why they run marathons in Germany.... They have a history of not finishing races."

"GOD: I call this Tupperware SATAN: remember when I let u crash at my place and u said u owed me one G: yes S: make the lid a little smaller"

"Is it official now that Glenn Frey is running on empty? Too soon I know, I'm so sorry! My friend just said this and I couldn't help but laugh."

"I had the left side of my body cut off... But I'm all right. EDIT: I just realize that whether the left was cut from the right or the right from the left is a matter of sincere argument."

"Afraid to die alone... ...become a bus driver!"