16385

Joke of the Day

"I found out it was snowing by looking outside. WTF Twitter? You are suppossed to tell me these things first."

"I bet cats think people wish they were cats."

"Why are blacksmiths seen as very nosy? Because the are always metal-ing."

"Dig a hole all the way to China, poke your head out and yell ""YOU GUYS BUILT THIS SHOVEL IT'S A GREAT SHOVEL JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY!"""

"Why is it OK to wash an American flag in hot water? Because these colors don't run."

"DAD: Your mother and I love you very much, and I'm not sure how to tell you this, but... you're adopted. DOG: OMG THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE"

"I found girl lying on railroad tracks. I untied her, took her into bushes and we had great sex. No head, though. I never found it."

"I hate it when people call me four letter words like innumerate."

"still can't say ""jk"" without whispering ""rowling"""

"Went to the zoo last week and all they had was one animal and it was a dog... It was a shih tzu."