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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend started bleeding during sex, and I told her to suck it up. In a few years, she'll bleed every month."

"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" he replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""

"Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship? Neither, they both eat out."

"My wife said that if I lose my job, she's divorcing me. So I need suggestions here, people. What are some terminable offenses these days?"

"How has Gordon Ramsey come to have so many children?? FUCKING RAAAWWWW!!"

"The sauciest 1% of Americans are saucier than the bottom 95% combined."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the ugly guy's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken."

"Explosion at a pie factory. 3.14159265 dead."

"what do you call a private, romantic rendezvous between two feet a podiatryst"

"It's not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you've reached your destination."