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Joke of the Day

"The sauciest 1% of Americans are saucier than the bottom 95% combined."

"What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks? Milk and quackers."

"I heard 80% of all accident happen within 10 miles of home. So I moved."

"What kind of street does a ghost like best? A dead end."

"""haha this costume party is great"" ""sir PLEASE get off the table"" ""cool librarian costume"" *sprays silly string* ""hey dude nice police costu"

"Why are lawyers and their clients not allowed to engage in sexual relations? So the client doesn't get billed twice for getting fucked twice!"

"me: well I grew up without a dad and I turned out okay cw: don't u collect human teeth?? me: yeah but they're not my teeth"

"How does a Scotsman find a sheep in the tall grass? Very satisfying. Retweaked joke: How does a (insert nationality here) find a sheep in the tall grass? Very (insert extremely lustful emotion here)!"

"Have you seen www.veryangry.com? No AND STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!"

"I've just left feedback for my second hand telescope I bought from eBay. Rubbish; 2 Stars."