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Joke of the Day

"A poster with a mugshot saying ""Have you seen this man"" So I rang up and said No. You have to do your bit for society ."

"I accidentally hired a wordsmith instead of a locksmith and now my latched threshold has been compromised by a metallic puzzle solver."

"In ten years we'll replace man on the evolutionary chart with all the different sized iPods."

"Most companies try to make new cutting edge technologies... Samsung goes for the burning strategy"

"How did Hitler sneeze? ""A jew!"""

"They say gays destroy the very fabric of society..... Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric."

"If I was rich I'd hire a guy named Matt to stand in the tub and I'd call him my ""bath Matt."" And I'd also do stuff for malaria and stuff."

"*looks through telescope* *telescope thinks you're looking at him and waves* *you wave at Jupiter behind* *telescope awkwardly lowers hand*"

"What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows"

"What do you get when you cross The Atlantic with The Titanic? About halfway."