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Joke of the Day

"If I was rich I'd hire a guy named Matt to stand in the tub and I'd call him my ""bath Matt."" And I'd also do stuff for malaria and stuff."

"It's not that Trump is a traitor. He's an ""alternative patriot."""

"What does Yao Ming stand for? When he sits down it takes too long to get back up."

"I assume the #1 reason people change their identity is b/c they answered ""You too"" when the barista said ""Enjoy your bagel."""

"What do you call a black pilot ? A pilot , you racist dumbass..."

"Licking whiskey off your keyboard in the morning is something everyone does, right?"

"How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, as long as they can find a way in."

"I've got an idea for who should run for President next... Hindsight, 2020."

"You guys got any good old jokes (example inside) Example: Did you go to school by horse? I like to mess with my tennis teacher, he is over 50 and he gives it right back to me by how bad i play."

"Just overheard someone say, ""I wish I had a Kindle that never ran out of batteries."" You know. Like a book."