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Joke of the Day

"i read everything in comic sans sans. this way it's funny."

"Susie has no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Susie"

"I struggle against the ropes binding me, catching the scent of gas. ""You'll die too,"" I say. ""9 lives,"" my cat whispers, lighting a match."

"Hey everyone, my mom's following me on Twitter now, so ixnay on all the eetstway about the ugsdray and exsay and acismray. Thanks"

"Why are poodles suspicious of strangers? Because they're afraid of running into a poodaphile."

"I am a waiter in need of false teeth. Do I need to look for a new job? I don't think indentured servants are legal any more."

"Love is like a box of chocolates However good it tastes you know it will inevitabley turn to shit."

"Roses are red, Roses are blue, Roses are white, Genetics."

"How do choo choo train go down many mountain? It go ""TOOT"" then thomas Tank gives tug"

"Apparently ""You probably don't hear this a lot, but I think you're quite attractive"" isn't a very good pickup line."