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Joke of the Day

"I struggle against the ropes binding me, catching the scent of gas. ""You'll die too,"" I say. ""9 lives,"" my cat whispers, lighting a match."

"Yet another Yo Mama joke Yo mama so dumb she thought ""Ping Pong Balls"" was a Chinese STD."

"What do you call Root Beer in a Square Glass? Beer."

"I'd rather not talk about my aviation pun addiction. It's a soar subject."

"""hello pretty lady."" [i slide down the bar] ""what's your name?"" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye."

"Why did the blonde stuff 98 berries in her mouth They were cramberries."

"My most pretentious joke -Knock knock Who's there? -To To who? -To *whom*"

"Disney's Aladdin taught me that as long as you have a foundation of lies, actual magic, and one of you is rich, a relationship can work."

"I saw a couple of adjectives and a pronoun nervously smoking outside court yesterday. Probably awaiting sentencing."

"What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar twenty five, deer nuts are under a buck"