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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one? The domesticated doesnt have balls"

"I just ate my weight in kidney beans! (I weigh eight ounces.)"

"Spread me apart, lick, & enjoy my cream! ~Oreos, you pervs"

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his soup before it was cool"

"A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar Guy: You're the most average girl out here. Girl: Hey, you're mean! Guy: No, you are."

"In 2011 it is more normal to have 0 or 2 dads than 1 dad"

"Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred: Well your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday."

"What do you call a flatulent teacher? A tutor"

"[LPT] Choose the song you hate the most as your alarm tone and place your phone as far as possible Then turn your phone off and sleep like a champion."

"The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can't."