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Joke of the Day
"The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can't."
Next Joke
"3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play? Pregnant wife: No, honey. She's not ready yet. 3-year-old: Wife: 3-year-old: Babies are lazy."
"Probing: Aliens have had plenty of time to figure out our biology -now they're just having fun."
"Charles Dickins walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender says, Olive or Twist?"
"[quickly jumps into the back of a cab] ME: How far will this get me? *i hand the driver 14 peanut m&ms with the chocolate sucked off*"
"Standing in the snow on a sub-zero morning, holding a steaming bag of poop, I begin to question my dogs are better than people' philosophy."
"What's the difference between an alcoholic and a necrophiliac? One goes to the bar for a cold one. The other goes to a morgue."
"How many cops does it take to throw a man down the stairs? None. He fell."
"Making the arrangements for my wife's funeral is tough She keeps asking what I'm doing"
"What did the snake priest say to the snake groom after the marriage? You may now ""hiss"" the bride."