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Joke of the Day
"Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A. A power failure."
Next Joke
"I have a step-stool and never met my real stool"
"I need a new therapist. After a long session with my therapist describing all my various problems, she asked if I'd ever considered suicide. When I said no, she replied ""Well, you should."""
"You seem like the type of person I might give my heart to, but as nervously as I'd be watching a drunk holding a newborn."
"ISIS frequently takes credit for random attacks even when they had nothing to do with them, making ISIS basically the Fat Jew of terrorism"
"""Can I pet your dog?"" ""Sure, but he can be aggressive."" [He pushes a pamphlet about the dangers of gluten towards me with his nose]"
"Horny rooster What does a normal rooster say? cock-a-doodle-doo! what does a horny rooster say? any-cock-will-do!"
"Why couldn't we get precise kinetic data on the phosphine-catalyzed reaction? The reaction rate was too phos-phor-us"
"You shouldn't buy so much Velcro... It usually a ripoff"
"What do you call a slutty housewife? A dirty dishwasher."