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Joke of the Day

"You seem like the type of person I might give my heart to, but as nervously as I'd be watching a drunk holding a newborn."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A Canoe tips."

"I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a ""Pregnant Only"" parking spot in front of the Liquor store."

"Why can the Cornish always lend a hand? They probably have a spare."

"My friend lost his left hand... He's all right now."

"Where would you find Percy Miller's toothbrush? In his Master P room."

"Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes."

"Theoretically, you can't really complain if there's a pubic hair on your everything bagel."

"How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? Just the two... but it takes a whole dedicated team at emergency to remove it."

"""Tim's coming tonight"" ""Tim with hooves for feet or Tim that likes to bang coconut halves together?"" [in the distance] clip-clop clip-clop"