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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a slutty housewife? A dirty dishwasher."
Next Joke
"Immediately after giving birth to me my mom was charged with crimes against humanity"
"She : I Love Kids He : I Love The Process"
"Vets aren't doctors: Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor? Vet: I treat horses but maybe I can help? Mom: My son broke his leg! Vet: Ok hang on. My rifle's in the truck."
"Some fancy kids just egged my house with quail eggs. I went out to yell, and one of them garnished me with chives."
"[the cops release the cadaver sniffing dogs into my living room for the third time this week] ME: *pauses netflix* I told you I'm not dead!"
"If I ever get the chance to reveal a chupacabra to the world, I hope I have the presence of mind to say, ""Chupacadabra!"""
"I just heard that there's going to be a Minecraft movie... ...it's gonna be a blockbuster."
"When asking a girl out it's important to show you respect her. Try writing your number on a Tubman Twenty so she knows your a feminist."
"What's it called when a priest is always late? Collared people's time"