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Joke of the Day

"Helped a turtle cross the road today. So how does this karma shit work? Should I buy a lottery ticket, or just try to fold a fitted sheet?"

"So, this woman stopped to ask me if my hair color was ""supposed to look natural."" My hair is purple, guys. Purple."

"What's the best way to keep water from running? Don't pay the water bill."

"What do you call an unidentifiable eating disorder? An a-nom-aly"

"I met Cosby once and I remember him being just a wonderful person. I don't remember much after that."

"Two guys walk in to a bar ...the third one ducks."

"Asia and his father are playing a board game. Asia's father takes his turn. He looks at Asia and says, ""Europe, Asia."""

"As soon as I walk in, I can feel every woman at the gym dressing me with their eyes."

"What's the difference between your dick and your jokes? Nobody laughs at your jokes."

"Dumb joke I thought of while bored at work. Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict? You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines."