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Joke of the Day

"As soon as I walk in, I can feel every woman at the gym dressing me with their eyes."

"Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes."

"How do you piss off /r/jokes? Jokes: son-of-a-b***h"

"I think lamps are my favorite furniture. They're always brightening up my day."

"Why did the Snowman pull his pants down? Because the snowblower was coming."

"What do you get the girl who has everything? Penicillin."

"Boy giraffe: You wanna? Girl giraffe: Ok, but kiss my neck first. Boy giraffe: But Babe, we only have 3 hours!"

"There is a ""lie"" in believe, ""over"" in lover, ""end"" in friend, ""us"" in trust, ""ex"" in ""next"" & ""if"" in life."

"What's the difference between a cheap hooker and an expensive one? You'll get crabs from the cheap one, and lobsters from the other. Heard this years ago, hope this ain't a repost. Cheers"

"Joke I told my one-eyed coworker today: Me: What do you call a terrorist who's missing an eye? Him: I give up Me: A terrorst"