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Joke of the Day

"Where can you always find kids by themselves? edit: i forgot to say please."

"What do you get when you mix an Obama campaign slogan with Fifty Shades of Grey? Rope and chains."

"How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!"

"I just finished my first week of work at ThyssenKrupp. I'm already seeing great opportunities for upward mobility. All in all, it's been a very elevating experience."

"What do they call the Hunger Games in Africa? Tuesday."

"More like ""science UN-fair"" *I walk away in slo-mo. The building explodes with baking soda lava* *I roll a smoke with my 2nd place ribbon"

"Q: Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns? A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight."

"Why did the old lady fall in the well? Because she couldn't see that well"

"The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice."

"How can you tell when a woman has an orgasm? Who cares?"