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Joke of the Day

"Q: Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns? A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight."

"MOM: Any plans tonight? ME: Me and the guys heading out to find us some ladees *shoots finger guns HER: So Pokemon Go with Gary? M: Yessss"

"So I ask my local librarian... If she had books on Pavlovs dog and Schrodingers cat. She said they rang a bell but dont know if they are there or not."

"Nothing says ""We have no faith in our own products"" like using a 16 year old girl in your anti-aging cream commercials."

"There are 10 types of people in the world Ones who understand binary And the ones who don't."

"So i was fucking this midget with one arm (nsfw) Boy, is my arm tired."

"Want to hear a dirty joke? Pigs in the mud."

"What makes men cheat on women? Women!"

"What do you call an Italian with one arm? Speech impaired."

"Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?"