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Joke of the Day
"Weird how my first 11 coffees tasted like coffee but the 12th one tastes like I'm having a stroke."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a drinking establishment and an elephant's fart? One is a bar-room and the other is a BAROOOM!"
"Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and ""we'll see what happens"" is considered inappropriate."
"A football supporter's favourite Christmas song? 'Yule never walk alone'"
"Daylight Saving Time ends today. So I have to remind myself, that the clock on my microwave will be wrong for the next several months."
"A demon that writes messages on your mirror with blood but they're useful messages. Like ""remember you have yoga at 6 tonight"""
"I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather. Not screaming and flailing about, like his passengers."
"Little Susie goes to the doctor... Little Susie goes to the doctor. Doctor puts a stethoscope on her back and says, ""Ok now, big breathes."" Susie says, ""I know! And I'm only 12!"""
"The less you give a damn, the happier you will be."
"""Bob's here"" Bob from work or Bob THE HARBINGER OF DEATH *an icy wind blows as black clouds consume the sky* ""Bob from work"" *clouds recede*"