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Joke of the Day
"I hope that one day I can be as proud about anything as my cat is about his asshole."
Next Joke
"I've easily spent 12% of my life chuckling at my own jokes and being grossed out by my own body. Also, I like random percentages."
"How was 9/11 an inside job? If the planes came from the outside."
"""Say ur a bad girl"" I'm a bad girl ""oooh yeah, and tell me what bad girls do..."" ooh i'm gonna sign up for 3 months of yoga and only go twice"
"Had to have ""the sex talk"" with my daughter, she was a little overwhelmed so I left out the part about golden showers & donkey punches"
"Vaping! The great taste of steam, the cool look of blowing a flashlight."
"Whats the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? Attire."
"Funny shit 52% of all women have used vibrators , the other 48% have new ones ."
"I lost my new underwear... ...I only wore them briefly."
"What's Scoobys birthstone? Ruuuubbbby?"