93016

Joke of the Day

"""Say ur a bad girl"" I'm a bad girl ""oooh yeah, and tell me what bad girls do..."" ooh i'm gonna sign up for 3 months of yoga and only go twice"

"What part of a fish weighs the most ? It's scales !"

"You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no."

"What does Salvador Dali eat for breakfast? surreal"

"What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common? They both love cracking open a cold one!"

"Thanks to Twitter, I can't go anywhere without my mobile. Quick question. Do I take this man to be my lawfully wedded husband?"

"Got my wife an educational toy. It's a dildo that speaks Spanish. Rapido Rapido Rapido."

"HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO RUIN IT WITH SEX. SURE, YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE, THEY JUST DON'T SEE YOU IN THAT WAY"

"What is the capital of Greece? $20 (A friend told me this a few days ago)."

"Just heard Barrack Obama's main writer has been killed.. Sources reporting that he is currently speechless."