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Joke of the Day

"Funny shit 52% of all women have used vibrators , the other 48% have new ones ."

"""Oh, don't use that picture of me, honey. Please, I look so old in that one. You must have a better picture."" -Whistler's Mother"

"Why don't pirates ever stop going to brothels? They can't get enough booty."

"I don't care about babies on flights, but people who don't travel often should have their own terminal."

"Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there's no racism problem?"

"A cowboy walks into a German car convention... He sees a beautiful woman, walks up to her and says, ""Audi"""

"There were two chefs who got married, she was Chinese and he was German. They opened a restaurant together. The food is good, but a half hour after you eat dinner, you're hungry for power."

"What do you call a one legged rapper? A Hip-Hop artist"

"If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good."

"Everyone has a special talent, I like to think mine is ruining people's day."