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Joke of the Day

"I've easily spent 12% of my life chuckling at my own jokes and being grossed out by my own body. Also, I like random percentages."

"What kind of condoms do frogs wear? Rib-bed"

"""I still haven't met his Father, but I'm not worried. Parents love me."" - Jesus' gay friend"

"My girlfriend and I broke up over astrology. She's a Taurus, but I don't believe in bullshit."

"Doctor: we saved your dad but he's part owl now Son: Dad it's me Dad: *head turned 180* who Son: very funny Doctor: yeah he has amnesia too"

"A man's wife gets angry about him switching to bitcoins He says ""Why don't you switch to bitchcoins?"""

"Not only is it daylight savings time today, but also Int'l Women's Day. Because apparently a full 24 hours to celebrate women would have been just a bit much."

"The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon. How many galleons did the get to the mile !"

"Have you guys ever tried Somali food ? Neither have they"

"My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs."