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Joke of the Day

"Had to have ""the sex talk"" with my daughter, she was a little overwhelmed so I left out the part about golden showers & donkey punches"

"Wore my hair in a ponytail to Walmart and 4 people asked me to defend them in Drug Possession Cases. Court starts Monday."

"Poor Will... He gets fired at a lot."

"Did you guys hear the one where the Imam joins the priest and rabbi walking into the bar? That's because muslims can't drink."

"Who's the biggest hoe in history? Mrs. Pacman. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls till she died."

"Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze"

"I like my women like my coffee. Ground up in a bag."

"I started a petition to ban people from collecting autographs. So far I've got 50,000 signatures."

"(CPR class) Wife to instructor: What if my knees start to hurt? Me to instructor: See what I'm up against?"

"I put the 'c**k' in 'puts c**k in anything'."