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Joke of the Day

"Had to have ""the sex talk"" with my daughter, she was a little overwhelmed so I left out the part about golden showers & donkey punches"

"Alcohol activates the ""we need to take pictures now!"" center of your brain."

"How do you summon a wizard taxi? CABRACADABRA!"

"If r/jokes was a person, what organ would he be having problems with? De-liver"

"Q. How do men define a ""50/50"" relationship? A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle."

"An invisible bomb was just invented, what do you call it? A newclear bomb."

"AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Oops, wrong sub."

"What did Descartes say while shopping online? I think therefore I Amazon"

"There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I'm gonna be friggin' unstoppable....."

"What do you call a disobedient feline pirate? A mew-tineer! And what do you call a genetically altered cow? A moo-tant, of course!"