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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between alcoholism and a lobotomy? I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

"I love whiteboards. They're remarkable."

"What do corals get stressed about? Current events."

"A wife is like a hand grenade... ...take off the ring, and you lose the house."

"""My date was cute but he couldnt perform in the bedroom."" *cuts to me in bedroom butchering Wonderwall on guitar* i swear this never happens"

"I got into fight with my erection this morning. Don't worry, I beat it single handedly."

"Two Ducks Two ducks in the airing cupboard, which one is in the army? The one on the tank......."

"Well Officer..we didn't have a bottle so that dead guy over there.. ""Him?"" No the other dead guy..suggested ""Spin The .44""..And I WON!"

"I'm starting a nightclub to cater to people infected with AIDS It's called ""Hi Five"" in Roman Numerals (HIV)"

"What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common? both can be solved with a coat hanger"