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Joke of the Day

"I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family My wife freaked the fuck out"

"The only time I'm like ""maybe god is real"" is when I'm eating really really good nachos."

"Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream? Both are in *a la mode*."

"Why People Get Married"

"I had a great idea for a courier business, run by lesbians. I'd call the company ""Lickety Split Delivery""."

"If a fireman's job can go up in smoke, and a plumbers job can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?!"

"I successfully said ""Worcestershire sauce"" today!"

"What do you call it when a person falls ill from watching too many BBC period dramas? Downton Syndrome"

"Friends: Let's roll a fatty Me: I have a name guys and pls don't"

"Why does Trump like French music? Because he likes to grab them by Debussy."