219090

Joke of the Day

"I don't care who you are. If you can constantly make me laugh, I'm probably gonna wanna fcuk you."

"And if you can't be with the one you love, eat because you're bored."

"If I tell you I can't text you because I'm driving it's only because I'm also eating."

"You think Minnie Mouse ever got drunk & decided to bang Goofy after a Disney mixer? -Was the last time my boss asked me for my thoughts"

"What do you call a Serbian prostitute? Slobodan Mikokubic"

"I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea."

"My girlfriend thinks she has syphilis.. I keep telling her it's all in her head."

"A homeless man told me to get home safely I smiled and said, ""You too!"""

"Customer asking Bin Laden in Bar ( i need /u/yourjokeexplainedhere Customer: ""I'll have a Bin Laden, please."" Barman: ""Sir, what is dat?"" Customer: ""Two shots and a splash of water."""

"You are literally overusing literally."