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Joke of the Day

"If I tell you I can't text you because I'm driving it's only because I'm also eating."

"Why does Snoop Dog always carry an umbrella? Fodrizzle"

"Me: Can I get you a drink? Her: I have a boyfriend. Me: Lady, I'm the bartender."

"I wouldn't trust atoms if I were you. They make up everything."

"Looking for a +1 for my wedding."

"People say that sex ed classes in America are uncomfortable. But I think that history classes in Germany are worse. ""Hey kids, you'll never guess what your grandparents did..."""

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber? Apparently he had Loco motives."

"Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot is faster. Anyone can catch a cold."

"How do you get a hotdog to dance? You put Mustard on the beat"

"What do you call a rebellious teenager whose parents are a lamb and a moose? A radical mooselamb"