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Joke of the Day

"Customer asking Bin Laden in Bar ( i need /u/yourjokeexplainedhere Customer: ""I'll have a Bin Laden, please."" Barman: ""Sir, what is dat?"" Customer: ""Two shots and a splash of water."""

"""STOP IT STOP IT. CUT. THIS IS ALL WRONG"" I scream at my cats dressed like vampires. ""This is NOTHING like Twilight!!"""

"Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!"

"What did the doctor say to the rude patient who was reluctant to get stitches from him? ""Fine, suture yourself."""

"I don't pay my taxes... Because I'm smart."

"What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger? Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field."

"My wife left me because she said I had a drinking problem After she left I lost the urge to drink."

"9/11 jokes are just plane wrong"

"What does gay rooster say? Sev-sev-seveeeeen."

"How do you spell wrong? R?o?n?g. That's wrong. That's what you asked for isn't it?"