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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend thinks she has syphilis.. I keep telling her it's all in her head."
Next Joke
"Me: when is the pizza ready? Dad: will you wait! Me: I DID MY WAITING Dad: oh god no Me: TWELVE YEARS Dad: not again Me: IN AZKABAN"
"If you have a choice between ugly or fat, remember this. You can turn the lights out on ugly, but you can always feel the fat in the dark."
"Wearing contact lenses for the first time. My vision's gone from YouTube to Blu-Ray."
"I had no idea how long ago 1997 was when I was living it."
"There were 2 goldfish in a tank One said to the other, ""you man the guns, I drive."""
"Why don't you see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really f**king good at it."
"What's a hillbillies favorite holiday? Halloween.... Do you want to know why? Because they like to pump kin."
"what's the worst part about having sex with your pets? A week later they pretend they don't even know you."
"My uncle Paul does great bird impressions, He eats worms."